


It's Okay - They Have Sandwiches

by Charlotte_Jones_Holmes



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: 2009, Star Trek:Into Darkness
Genre: Bake a cake, Fluff, Friendship, Humour, This won't hurt your feelings, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 01:25:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/894158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlotte_Jones_Holmes/pseuds/Charlotte_Jones_Holmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are the voyages of the star ship Enterprise and her Chief Engineer; Montgomery Scott - the Transwarp deviant. Every crew needs a regularly enraged Scottish BAMF to get drunk with.</p><p>(Short, light-hearted drabbles about everybody's favourite Engineer aboard his Silver Lady. )</p><p>Chapter 1: Scotty and Pavel play truth or dare.<br/>Chapter 2: Scotty annoys the Hell out of Uhura.<br/>Chapter 3: Scotty and Keenser bake a cake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fluffy introduction of Scotty generally being Scotty: an annoying little shit. Scotty/Uhura if you squint.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whilst the rest of the crew are away, Chekov and Scotty play in the Bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mixed narration in this chapter.

The away team had left him behind. Again. 

_You’re seventeen, Pavel. It’s not safe. Stay here, Scotty said he wouldn’t mind hanging around the Bridge with you. It’ll only be a few hours._

The Russian boy huffed and span around in his chair, coming to face the man he had been left with. The man in question awkwardly pursed his lips when he noticed he was under scrutiny.

"Scotty, da? Chief Engineer." Pavel nodded.

Scotty smiled back at him. “Mm. We’ve met. Yer th’ Naviga’or, th’ young lad." 

"Mhmm. Why hawe  _you_  been left behind zhen?" Pavel continued rotating slowly at his station.

"Ah had a few tests t’ run on th’ new system, bu’ ah finished quickly. So ah agreed t’ come entertain ye." The Engineer grinned and stood up from his chair, shoving his hands into his pockets and pacing around the weirdly quiet bridge.

Pavel smiled slightly as he watched. “Entertain me? How? Eet eez hard to keep me entertained, Meester Scott."

Scotty pivoted around to face him with a tut. “Nonsense. Ah have scotch an’ glitter body pens."

"You… o-kay. Glitter pens." The Russian beamed enthusiastically, perhaps the strange Scotsman was more interesting than he appeared.

Two hours later and there was no sign of the rest of the crew. By now, both men were laying on the floor and doodling on large pieces of paper using sparkly pens. They were playing a game Scotty had picked; it was essentially truth or dare, only the forfeit for skipping a truth or dare was the other player got to draw something of their choice on the forfeiter.

"Truth er dare?" Scotty asked - by this point he had a pink sparkle pony on his neck and love hearts all over his arms.

Pavel giggled, looking over the crude doodles along his forearms. “Um… truth!" 

The other sighed dramatically. “Borin’. Er… okay, wha’s th’ most embarrassin’ thing ye’ve ever done?"  

"Oh." The Navigator flushed pink. “Well… one time, I got drunk. My Mozher did not know zhat I drank, and I arrived home tipsy and she-" here he began giggling uncontrollably “she told me zhat I could newer go out again, so I ran out of ze house announcing zhat I was a superhero and stripped off my clothes as I ran…" By this point he was bright red and choking on his own giggles. Scotty covered his face, barely suppressing girly giggles.

"Pasha! Yer a weird un, lad, ah have t’ admit." He shook his head and rubbed away a few tears. “Alrigh’, yer turn. Ah pick dare."

"Ohh, dare. Bad mowe, Scotty. You hawe to… wear an item of Miss Uhura’s clozhing!" He grinned mischievously.

Scotty’s eyes widened. “Oh, yer a menace. Righ’. Gimme five minutes, an’ if she kills me, ahm blamin’ you!" 

"Fine wiz me!" Chekov laughed and rolled onto his back as he waited for the man to return. So far they’d gotten through a few bottles of scotch (vodka was his preferred drink, but scotch was nice too) and he had learnt a reasonable amount about Scotty. His name was actually Montgomery, and he was  _obviously_ Scottish. His favourite colour was red and he loved astrophysics. He spent most of his time with Keenser, though he swore it was purely platonic. He has a good sense of humour, is clearly more intelligent than he gives himself credit for, and though he’d never admit it the rest of the crew meant a Hell of a lot to him. Granted, a lot of that was theorising, but Pavel had always been “people smart". Found it easy to understand how they felt. By the time he’d finished languidly thinking this over, he glanced up to notice Scotty had returned.

Scotty stood, hands on his hips, with a pair of red heels on his feet. "…Uhura has weirdly large feet fer a lass. Bu’ ye dinnae hear me say tha’!" He chuckled and strutted over, stumbling slightly - partially from the alcohol and partially from the shoes. He eventually managed to return to his original position on the floor. “C’mon, ye’ve gotta do a dare now~." 

"Fine. Do your worst." He challenged.

Scotty took another swig from his bottle and began doodling a butterfly on himself. “Um… Ye have t’ impersonate Spock. Fer three minutes."

Chekov grinned and hopped to his feet with a wobble. “I can do zat!" The young man straightened himself up and tried to maintain a stony expression. “Zat ees illogical, Meester Chekov! No Treebles can be kept in your room, Meester Chekov! I hawe really large eyebrows, Meester Chekov!" 

At this point both of them had collapsed into fits of laughter, sprawling out amongst the pens and insane sketches by intoxicated men. The sound of a man clearing his throat caught both of their attentions as they looked upwards into the face of Mr. Spock, one of his brows raised. 

"I asked you to keep Mister Chekov company. Not intoxicate him, Mister Scott." The Vulcan stated.

"I… oh come off i’!" He chuckled and rolled over. “Th’ lad needed some fun, no’ an intellectual debate. We were havin’ fun!"

"Da. Meester Scotty is fun." Pavel nodded with a grin, still tittering drunkly.

Spock sighed and opened his mouth to speak again when a female voice gasped out “Scotty! Are you wearing my stilettos?!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy Scotty generally being Scotty: an annoying little shit. Scotty/Uhura if you squint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally the first chapter, but I chose to rearrange the order. Sorry for any confusion.

Nyota pulled her nimble fingers across the small harp that sat in her lap, her brows furrowing slightly as she concentrated on coaxing the sweetest notes from the taught strings. Her eyes fluttered shut and her breathing evened - she found herself at complete ease.

Plink. A light touch on her head shattered the serenity.

Plink. This time, she flinched and snapped her (normally gentle) eyes open, immediately locking them on the offender opposite her.

The offender in question was the Chief Engineer of the Enterprise; he sat sideways in an arm chair, his legs sprawled over one arm and the rest of him slumped backwards over the other. In his lap sat a bowl of replicated peanuts, some of which he twirled over in his palm.

"Scotty. Some of us are trying to relax." She scorned.

"Aye. We are." The man agreed, flashing her his sweetest grin before continuing to throw peanuts at her head.

Uhura suppressed a small smirk and closed her eyes once more, focusing all her attention on the instrument. Scotty still had other ideas.

Plink.

{I'm going to kill him.}

Plink.

{Go on, Scott. Push it. You'll pay.}

Plink.

{OH MY-.}

Then, thankfully, a pause. Though only a brief one.

Plink.

"Oh, that's it Scotty!" With that, the previously docile woman leapt from her chair upon the startled Scotsman; she swiftly grabbed a cushion from the chair and began beating him about the head with it - much to his muffled protests.

"Nyo- agh! Geroff!" He chuckled breathlessly and squirmed in the chair, more forcefully than he had intended. Without warning, the chair tipped backwards and off rolled both of it's inhabitants with undignified squeaks from Uhura.

There was a moment of silence where both parties lay still, trying to not laugh as they caught their breath, though this barely lasted a nanosecond before they erupted into giggles. A sharp cough drew their attention.

"Dammit, Scott! What have I told you about the Goddamn furniture?!" A disgruntled Bones set his eyebrows into a scowl.

The man blinked in return. He blinked again. Then, abruptly, he pounced back onto his feet with a shout of "Uhura did i!" before pushing past the Doctor with a wink and bounding off down the hall - leaving an unimpressed CMO and a beaming linguist in his wake.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy Headcanon Number Three: Sometimes Scotty attempts to bake. Sometimes mysterious smoke can be seen emanating from his whereabouts. The two may be related. 
> 
> Keenser/Scotty bros.

Humming to himself, Engineer Scotty cracked a few eggs into a bowl (how many exactly, he didn't know, he wasn't really counting) and poured in what he assumed to be a reasonable amount of flour. "Bonnie Sco'land ah adore thee, now ah wander gladly o'er thee, thy enchantment will restore me, bonnie, bonnie Sco'land~!"

Keenser tilted his head, listening to what sounded like his superior singing. Without hesitation he decided to follow the noise and see what Scotty was up to.

A splash of oil, some melted butter - all the seemingly normal ingredients followed by a generous pouring of Scotch because: {why the fuck no'?}. "Mid th' rays o' summer weather, sweetly blooms thy mountain heather, love an' beauty sport together, bonnie, bonnie Sco'land~!"

Keenser toddled into the kitchen-like room and looked up at Mister Scott, curiously watching him work. Without turning, Scotty was aware of his presence, having developed a second sense almost as to when his little friend was present. "Lad!" He looked down from where he stood and grinned, a streak of flour from his eyebrow to his chin. Keenser tittered. "Ah dinnae know if ah've included th' righ' stuff, ye wanna help?"

With a nod, the smaller creature lifted his arms up, and Scotty swiftly complied to lift him to the counter. "Add some more stuff if ye wan'..." He loosely gestured around with his hands and left to check on his station, though he had left one of his best men in charge. When he returned, the mixing bowl was filled with new, colourful ingredients. Keenser sat looking very happy with himself. "Tha's lovely lookin'. Le's cook i'!"

Later on that day, Scotty comm'd to his Captain for approval before him and Keenser travelled up to the bridge, bringing with them the cake concoction.

"Cap'n, ah know yer workin', bu' cake is always good fer motivation..." He grinned.

Kirk seemed sleepy, but still a characteristic smirk slid across his lips. "Mm. We're clocking off soon anyway, go ahead Scotty."

Keenser padded forwards with the plate and managed to push it up onto a counter where Spock was working, earning him an amused eyebrow quirk. "No thank you, Mister Keenser."

Keenser nodded in understanding but left the plate there anyway, returning to Scotty's side. "Anyways. Ah promised we dinnae poison i', so go ahead." He smiled and used the current situation to his advantage, wandering over to the latest panelling inserts and scanning over them. Though distracted, the man's ears remained tuned into the voices of his crew members, awaiting their reactions; somehow none of them had died from consuming the mixture. Curious, the Engineer cast glance to his green friend who simply blinked up at him with innocent rounded eyes. 

"Meester Scott, this eez... strange. I like eet." Chekov smiled and hopped back into his chair, looking over to Hikaru who nodded in agreement.

The Scotsman pivoted around and nodded in acknowledgement. "Thank ye, lad. Keenser did most o' i'. S'jus'... unique, ah suppose." 

"Mhmm. Tastes a bit tingly, Scott... have you put alcohol in this?" The Captain grinned lopsidedly.

Scotty answered with his own. "Maybe a wee bi', Sir. Nothin' on intoxicatin' levels." He inhaled deeply and surveyed the room, happily concluding that the trial had gone well, and allowed himself a small victory... until he remembered that he'd left an open flame down in his quarters. Again.


End file.
